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Tortured Ambulance Chaser
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| Time for a dumb meme update |
[02 Dec 2008|08:08pm] |
 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In November I ruled Canada as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In January I gave ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) rocketmba a kidney (1000 points). Last Tuesday I bought porn for katiebeta (-10 points). In September I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Monday I gave fakeappletrees a Dutch Oven (-10 points).
Overall, I've been nice (204 points). For Christmas I deserve an XBox 360!
Sincerely,
ice_climbers |
Take that Canada, with your low crime rates, nationalised healthcare and awesome pro-sports. Please let me move to Montreal.
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[19 May 2008|12:15am] |
Hello internets
So I have to make a long uninteresting whiney journal entry so Nerissa will be happy. But I'm not going to do that. Because I don't really care about your happyness Nerissa. Because you're from essex.
So, I could sit here and abuse women for a while longer but I will leave that to Matt as he is better at it.
These make me better than you.
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[21 Apr 2008|12:38am] |
In response to Matt (http://rocketmba.livejournal.com/162598.htm), I feel I have done little to no whining on here recently.
SO I NOW FEEL OBLIGED.
My shoulder is busted. On my glove hand. Although I'm thinking of playing full right, so we'll see.
SYMPATHY PLZ MY ARM R HURT INTERNETZ
That is all.
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[11 Mar 2008|01:51am] |
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meatwad got the the money, see
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[01 Mar 2008|12:36am] |
Ow Ow Ow.
Fuck you, pucks. And sticks. And helmets that don't stay on.
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[29 Feb 2008|01:22am] |
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You know what I like? Red wine and cats. They're like people, but I like them.
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| My exciting update. |
[12 Feb 2008|12:51am] |
SO.
Hippy Adam is teaching me how to play street/inline hockey.
It's like proper hockey, but without the ice rink, and for girls.
I totally caught the puck with my face =D
Best goalie evar.
Srsly though. After two hours, you really, really smell. I forgot quite how much you smell.
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[09 Feb 2008|03:07am] |
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music |
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Who the fuck cares? Musical taste isn't a competition, and electro is shite, btw |
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Apathetic fuckers of the world. Self proclaimed seers. New age musical gurus.
Fuck you all.
Every day we move a step closer to being not much more than bacteria in the petri dish of the politicians. The newspapers preach hate, the BBC fear, and the public feined nonchalance, to cover ignorance. Even music has lost its power. People who claim to love music are usually too busy working out how to get their skin tight jeans over the stick wedged up their arse by so called "indie" record lables and the NME.
You want to hear indie? Go find a band sleeping on kitchen floors after ever gig they play, recording in some shitty rented garage with instruments held together with wire, ducttape and sweat.
Complaining about topup fees? How about you do something about it, instead of moaning, then spending all your loan cash on Vodka and Redbull mixers till you can find something to stick your penis, or to stick it's penis in you.
Fucking do something.
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| A sealed weakerthans record, a Henry Rollins book, a cup of black coffee |
[04 Feb 2008|01:31pm] |
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music |
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Something that I'm far too cool and indie for you to have heard of. |
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And the obligatory pretentious livejournal entry title, soaked in self deprecating irony, laced with a smug sense of self satisfaction and self importance.
Hello Internets.
I haven't updated in a while, so here goes.
I've started playing Ice Hockey again, sorted out most of my goalie pads and a couple of rink position pads, but this tiny city hasn't got an ice rink and in-line hockey just isn't the same.
I've had my hair cut shortish again, because having floppy hair is for fags and communists.
I've reverted to a state of being 14 again( Aside from the lack of floppy hair) by listening to Jawbreaker, Jets to Brazil, and playing pokemon
This sentence doesn't begin with "I", "I've", or "I'm".
I got a new sketchbook and should have the journal comic up eventually.
I'm thinking of getting a half sleeve done on my left arm. Something like a grand piano at the top, with a saxophonist across the bulk of my arm, and maybe a guitarist or a double bassist. Or maybe both.
I now own more than 4 books containing not much more than just photography. Am I gay yet? Y/N
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| Halloween? |
[01 Nov 2007|12:16am] |
From bar manager/housemate Tim:
"Halloween is for children, bennies and Americans."
"Tim is wondering why a subject about evil spirits, death and ghouls is causing so much frivolity. I'm gonna stay in and have my own AIDS, holocaust and genocide party"
AIDs/Holocaust/Genocide party at my house! None of you are invited because I hate you all.
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| Well.. |
[21 Oct 2007|02:34am] |
I guess I should post one of those long, tedious updates about my life is actually going.
In short, second year of university. Moved house. Had many things happen. Got asked to play for the roller hockey team but can't afford goalie gear. Have enough money to pick up a couple of new instruments though, provided I buy cheapish ones that aren't so great, but hey, I'm at college and who wants quality equipment?
In other news, England are shit at sports and Colorado can't beat Chicago. The replacement for POP! is pretty crap, but it's a night out. Good Shoes are playing on Monday, but are shite. I might go anyway. Provided booze is cheap. And entry is free. New room is pretty small but is bigger than the old one, and a lot, lot cheaper. I've got a traintrack behind my house and an electricity pylon in front. I kinda like it in a way.
I'm vice president of the Kent Motorcyclist Society, even though I don't have the bike with me.
RETROTHINKING IS CHANGING
apparently.
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| Since you've banned me from commenting.. |
[20 Oct 2007|11:16pm] |
I'll leave my comment here, where everyone can see it.
Well done on hitting pubery Martin! In a while, you might even get hair in more intimate places.
Plz grow a beard for lulz.
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[30 Aug 2007|01:40am] |
"This is for your attention:
We wish to notify you once again that you were listed as a beneficiary to the total sum of £4,600,000.00GBP (Four million Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds Sterling) in the intent of the deceased (name now withheld since this is our second letter to you)."
I must have missed the trend in letter writing. After the first letter, no names. Gotcha.
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[03 May 2007|02:04am] |
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Where's the classiest resteraunt you've lopped off your wang, flist?
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[16 Apr 2007|01:15am] |
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Right handed people are scum. Discuss.
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| IT IS 4 DA CHARLOTTES LOLOL |
[14 Apr 2007|10:27pm] |
Dear Kiyoharu.
Your mouth is lieks a girlparts! Do you shave or wax?
Love, Yoshiki Hajime. xoxox.
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| Fuck to you! |
[20 Feb 2007|03:01pm] |
I'm going to Montreux jazz festival.
For free.
backstage VIP.
Yo, tonight the rhymes be flowin' tight.
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